PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
