Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
