For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
