so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
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