to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
