it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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