DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
