i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
