Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Less talking, more tequila
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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