Is it normal to miss your booty call?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
