Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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