They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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