I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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