I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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