i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
