Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
