So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
