Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
