we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
