My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
