I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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