so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
