does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He? As in you personified your dick?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
