idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
