So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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