You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
