If i come over, it means nothing
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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