Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
