You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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