Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
