Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
and she was petting her beer can
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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