He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
