Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
