all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
