I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
