Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
