we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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