absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
