he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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