I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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