I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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