There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
worst night to have a conscience
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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