I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
