Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
