I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
