A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
love makes seman taste better
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
