also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
