Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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