Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
