I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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