We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize